I grew up in a rough home. Both my parents were alcoholics who fought all the time. My father was abusive (to my mother, myself, and my sister) and had psychotic issues that kept us moving around a lot - like 30+ times before I turned 12 years old. Because we moved so much, I never seemed to have any friends. I was often sick - allergies, asthma, respiratory problems and who knows what else. I suffered from bi-polar disorder and depression when I was a teen. Life was hard...
To cope with "life", I buried myself in books. I was an honors student from the start and used every spare moment I had to read. YES, I was and still am a nerd! I think I was the only 4th grader who was optionally reading Shakespeare and I know I was the only 8th grader reading Thoreau for pleasure. I spent most of my time reading fantasy and historical fiction.
When my parents divorced, I was 12. I took on a lot of household duties to help my mom while she worked 2-3 jobs and took care of myself and my sister. I got my first job at 14 and worked the whole summer. I got my first part-time at 16 and was a store manager my senior year of high school. I worked hard at my jobs. I worked hard at school. I worked hard at home. Still, every spare moment I had, I read books, wrote, and drew pictures.
I always thought of myself as a modern day Cinderella. Working away, waiting for my prince to come rescue me. I was the maiden trapped in a horrible tower called 'life' and I needed my knight in shining armor to storm the tower and save me. I battled dragons and wizards and spent more time with imaginary creatures and characters than real people. I always thought that someday things would be better. My wonderful hero would come and we would live happily ever after... But everyone says that dreams like that never come true...
You know what though... I have spent the last week or so looking around and thinking about the past few years of my life. As cliche as it sounds, I do feel like my fairy tale came true. Really! There is a handsome prince, a long and troubled journey, battles with horrible foes, heartache and sorrow and loss, and many amazing treasures and wonderful characters...
Earlier this week, near Valentines, I was thinking about how Bryan and I met and our first "date". If you ever want to see me blush, ask me to tell you about it sometime... :) Although neither of us ever actually asked the other one out, we were together from that night on... I remember thinking how different he was from all the other guys that I had dated. There was one night in particular that made me feel like he was "the one"... I suffered from bi-polar disorder. I had episodes bad enough that only a few friends truly knew what my life was like. The others simply didn't hear from me for a few days until it passed and then I was suddenly back in the picture... One night, I had a severe depressive episode. I had two friends call me and ask me to hang out and I told them, in tears, not to bother me. Then Bryan called. I told him the same thing. EVERY guy in my life until that point would have left me alone, but within about half an hour Bryan was at my side asking me to explain what was going on. I don't think I ever told him, but from that moment on, he has been my knight in shining armor.
We had our ups and downs, but we stood by each other and we married in August of 2003. We had MORE ups and downs during our first year of marriage, but we made it through. In 2005, we welcomed our first treasure, Ayla Marie. In 2006, we made the week-long journey of moving from Montana to Georgia. We went from Great Falls to Yuma and Tucson to Covington. We saw more ups and downs and went through more battles. In 2007, our second treasure, Zachary Wilson, joined us. More trials passed and in 2010 we added a treasure to Heaven through a miscarriage at 10 weeks. There have been many more battles and trials and many little rewards along the way...
Now it is 2012. Bryan and I will celebrate 9 years of marriage this August. Ayla will be 7 years old in June. Zachary will turn 5 in July. Our furry treasure, Angel, will be a year old in May. We will also be welcoming our third treasure, Caleb Anthony, in May. I have been blessed with so many wonderful friends and family. I sit back and think about the things that God has given me over the years - health, home, and hope. I might not have a 'castle' of my own yet, but I am sure in a year or two (if we are all still here) it will be a reality also...
Even without my castle, I still feel like a princess... And I am living my happily ever after...
